Psalm 41: Hiding Our Shadows

After unleashing the flood gate of thoughts upon you in my first blog, I can only wonder what is left in my head to say. Lucky for me, I don’t think what I say comes from myself, or there wouldn’t be much to be said. What, do you think I am doing material here?

One of the first things I see in this psalm is the idea of gossip. Verse 7 says “All my enemies whisper together against me…” I don’t necessarily want to say I am above this concept, but I don’t tend to talk much, so naturally I don’t gossip as much. Personally I think that other people’s business is their own business, and if they want it spread around they should be the one to spread it. I do know that people like to meddle into other people’s lives. We should try to limit this as much as possible, and keep this information between the people it pertains to, unless permission is granted to do otherwise. I think most of the gossip that is done is just naturally, without even realizing it is happening. Just be aware of what you say about people when they aren’t around.

The second thought that comes to mind is the rest of verse 7 “they imagine the worst for me…” This is probably something I do more frequently, but it isn’t very common for me. As humans, we often take pleasure in the harm or sufferings of others. The word “imagine” is key here. This can be as simple as a fleeting thought of anger towards someone, to an intense hatred that never ceases to be thought about. As Christians we should want the best for others, even better for them than ourselves. Of course, everyone is too busy taking care of #1 (that would be Jinx :P) that they forget to care about other people, to rejoice and mourn with each other.

This psalm really reminds me of Job, who was afflicted even though he was upright. Verse 9 says “Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” This reminds me of when Job’s friends believed that he must have done something horrible for him to lose his family, possessions and be stricken with disease. I think this is something that society falls trap to. Everyone thinks that being a Christian is like floating on puffy white clouds where nothing is wrong and nothing is bad. The life they believe will happen on earth would be more accurately described as heaven. These people, when faced with a disaster, ask God how he could allow such a thing to happen, and turn away. As soon as God doesn’t give them what they want from Him, it’s over. I think this is part of the reason to read the Bible, to learn to recognize the misconceptions of God and avoid falling victim to those traps.

Now for the juicy verse 4, “As for me, I said, ‘O LORD, be gracious to me; heal me, for I have sinned against you!’ ” I know every single one of us needs to have this attitude. All too often we forget it is God’s grace that allows us to come to Him, and that we constantly fall short. I know we hear this all the time, but I don’t think we can hear it enough. If you don’t think you need to hear this, then this means you are living a perfect life already. Let me know if you are living a perfect life, because I don’t believe you. I know I fall into vicious sin cycles all too much. It is so easy for Facebook and AIM to trump the very Word of God. You forget to pray one day, and one day becomes many. Each day we go without God, it becomes harder to return to Him (because our minds are not thinking of Him). The reverse is true for the bad things of life as well. Every time we do something stupid, we are more likely to do something stupid again in the near future. Until the cycle is broken, it will just get out of control. What is a Jinx blog without a song? So here is a song that I have listened to way too much that pretty much sums up the previous ideas (and probably influenced them), and it just seems to fit my life so well at times.


People will hide their sins, the shadows that plague every soul. Shadows are the natural phenomena occurring by something obstructing the passing of light. Places without the light of God in our lives are known as sin. One small shadow (sin) begins, and then we try to cover up that shadow, just making the shadow bigger. (Sorry if you don’t really get this horrible analogy, I just don’t know how to word it…) Nobody wants to talk about how bad they are. Even in this blog, I attempt to lift myself above gossiping and ill thoughts towards others. When sin is mentioned with respect to our lives, our reflex is to defend ourselves, to say sin is what those other people do, but not me. “Oh God, I would never forsake you or deny you.” Also we try to rationalize our sins, by belittling them, saying it is who we are, it’s too hard to give up or it doesn’t hurt anyone. These have to be the biggest lies ever. We are just like George; we lie every second of the day. Our whole life is a sham. We can also fall prey to generalized sin. “I know I am this sinner and stuff, but I can’t tell you one thing I done wrong.” The devil loves this one. When we just generalize sin, we can’t better ourselves. How can we fix what we don’t know is broken? I also think we need to be true to other people as well as God. I know that some of my closest friendships are with people who know the real, hideous me, and still can stand to talk with me. What we fail to realize is that everyone is hiding themselves from the world, and they just really want to let it out. Let us stop fearing the ridicule of others and reveal our true selves. Those who would ridicule us for doing this are the ones too insecure to own up to their own faults. Only when we are true to each other can true and meaningful friendships emerge. This same concept works with God too. Imagine that, something that applies to the images of God applies to God Himself. Reveal your true heart, your true motive before Him, and He will reveal His true, powerful and just simply awesome self to you.

“Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen.” That He would even care about the corrupt hearts beating within the people of the earth is amazing in and of itself. His perfection makes this even more amazing. Perfection and imperfection are like oil and water, or engaged people to Marissa Tomei. God should slap us in the face and walk away, but that just isn’t the case. And for that we should rejoice. Also rejoice because you are done reading this long and boring barrage of thoughts by someone who barely knows what he is talking about… but wait, there are extras! *Everyone groans*
- Jinx

Extras: Those pesky little things that have been added to the original manuscript that I was too lazy to actually fit into the already Glennesque in length (actually I think I beat him this time…) bloggage.

1. Something I wrote awhile back in a fit of rage against my own sins:
I am sick of being sick. Disgusting thoughts plaguing my mind, distorting my vision, twisting my thoughts into this warped view of reality. My failure was inevitable. Targeting me while weak, Satan preys upon my tender flesh, using my own mind against me, switching what I consider evil to good, ugly to beautiful, sin to perfection. How can I break my addiction, cure my affliction? What am I missing? Only allowing myself to pass up an opportunity to sin because I know I will return to my deepest darkest desire. Every moral fiber in my body trampled by a single thought, overtaking my entire body until its wrath is satisfied, then waiting for another chance, another opportunity to strike me down. I am crying out to save me from myself. Someday I will break this habit, let go of these chains. Someday I will liberate myself from me. Someday, sooner or later. God I pray for sooner.

2. Keeping on the same note of my sins, I have personally been struggling with repetitive sin in my life for quite some time (aka the same thing as above). I honestly believe that God has allowed this sin to plague my soul for years to lead me to this point in my life. It is a horrible feeling when I failed to resist the temptations. Just knowing that I was losing control of myself was not a good feeling. God was just screaming at me (you know, in that still small voice of His) to come to Him… and I would try all kinds of other options as a means of stopping the sin. Honestly, going to God and truly spending time with Him is all it took for me to turn away. And I figure as soon as I start to slip up in my walk with Christ, Satan will be ready to pounce upon the defenseless heart beating within me yet again. The main reason I have memorized Psalm 19 so well, aside from no life and all, is something Glenn said about memorizing scripture as a means of stopping sin. I was desperate for a way out, even though I never thought it would really work. Funny thing is, a few days ago I stopped when temptation started to creep in, and recited Psalm 19 to myself, and the urge just vanished. Cheesy, but true. So yeah… there’s my life for you all.